"You can ruin the present by worrying about the future"
Whatever happened to the positive optimistic Hayle. Recently, Ive been hating myself for stressing out on stupid things. I have no clue why. I guess I'm just afraid of the future. Im afraid of the world ending soon, and I hope it doesnt. Thinking about it gets in the way of alot of things. It makes me think alot. If the world ends then what about all the goals I planned to in life. I want to accomplish everything I dream of before I die. I don't know why Ive been thinking this way lately. I really hate it. Its like I'm scaring myself but I try so hard not to. I recently scared myself more because my mom had a falling teeth dream. Its a superstition of somethin bad happening to someone, a family member or close friend will become very ill or pass away and that really scared the fuck out of me. I stressed myself out that whole day so much, I started smelling cigarettes out of nowhere. I was seriously tripping out. I read online smelling something like that was a sign of anxiety and stress. It stopped once I got to work. Even car rides get me nervous now- not even car rides, but going out gets me nervous. Im seriously being too cautious. And just today, Joseph told me he had a teeth dream. This is really starting to freak me out. and when I dont have shit to do at home I tend to think of death and I dont want to. I really need to stop thinking about all this nonsense. I need friends. Its sad, I feel like I dont anymore. I dont even go out or do shit because no one ever calls or texts me anymore. siiggh I just need someone to talk to really. Someone who can break my daily routine. I really miss being busy and having plans everyday of my life, unfortunately i dont anymore. I wish I could be busy so then I wouldnt have to be thinking of death all the time.
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i feel you on this one, im kinda goin through the same thang. nice title btw! hahaaa
ReplyDeletewow!! dude, i honestly agree with you and that guy's comment.
ReplyDeletei've been going through that shit A LOT lately. and feel like if no
one is giving me attention. =[ really good post.
-jesus
im glad at least someone understands and im not the only one. that actually kind of made me feel better. but yeah i can kind of see that thru your blog... your quotes and all.
ReplyDeleteHey mamas, don't trip it's just a stage in your life that you'll get through. Everyone's been through it and it'll go away as quickly as it came. Don't worry, you'll accomplish all your goals and you'll get where you want :] Life is scary cause you never know when it'll end and what will happen next, but just have faith and you'll be fine. And about the friend thing, call them up and plan something with them or make some new friends and new plans to chill. You'r bestfrirnds will always be there for you no matter what, cometimes maybe you gotta put in the first move. And senior year, is when friendships tend to fall apart and start getting unsteady, but it happens to everyone. I'm in college and I've got my bestfriends still with me, but it's hard. You only leave high school with maybe one handful of the friends you had through out. But in college you'll meet a lot of new people :] The rainy weather can fuck with our emotions too so don't trip. feel better :]
ReplyDeletethanks bbygirl (= you have a point there. so Pink's hotdogs soon tho! that is when i get over death and have the courage to actually get in the car and go to melrose again.
ReplyDelete